Writing Ideas

 by Ashley Lister
They say that one of the most frightening things a writer can encounter is a blank page. I’m not sure this is 100% true.  I’m a writer and, given the choice between a dark cellar full of spiders or a blank page, I’m happy to have that blank page every time. It would be the same answer if someone asked me if I’d like to stare at a blank page or listen to someone dragging their fingernails down a chalkboard. I would happily opt for the blank page.
However, I do know that the blank page can be intimidating to a lot of writers and in an effort to make it less daunting, I thought it might be useful to share a handful of ideas that might inspire creativity.
Please don’t think this is altruistic behaviour on my part. I’ve written a book, How to Write Short Stories and Get Them Publishedand, if you’re interested in writing short fiction, I’d dearly love you to buy a copy.  The book is based on knowledge and experience I’ve accrued from fifteen years of teaching creative writing, and from twenty-five years of being a published author, and from the research I conducted whilst acquiring my PhD in creative writing. If you want to write short fiction, I want you to buy a copy of the book.
One way I find useful for breaking the spell of the blank page is to write a simple haiku. For those unfamiliar with the form, a haiku is a three-line poem, based loosely on our interpretation of the Japanese form which contains seventeen ‘on’ or ‘morae’. Here in the West we’ve interpreted that to translate as syllables and the lines are split into a syllable count of 5-7-5. For example:
a new story world
sits beyond the white screen of
each new document
The values of writing a haiku are immeasurable as a warm-up exercise prior to writing something longer. This is like a runner stretching before a marathon, or a musician going through scales before performing with an orchestra. No one expects other professional artists to jump straight into being creative, so why should it be different for writers?
Write a haiku before you start each morning. It could be something fun to describe the weather (it’s raining again / just like it did yesterday / and the day before) or you could use it summarise the plot you’re working on or a particular character you want to write about or just say something about the environment in which you’re working (a fat little dog / sits heavily on my lap / his head on my arm).
When I get students to write haikus in class, I get a genuine pleasure from watching them count on their fingers as they deliberately shape the words to confirm that they’ve identified each syllable correctly. This is not a normal way for anyone to interact with words, and it’s one of the reasons why I think it works so well as a warm-up exercise for every writer.
So, before you start writing, take a couple of minutes to create a haiku, just to loosen your writing muscles. It gets you thinking about words in a different way, it helps diminish the dread of the blank page, and it helps to keep the blade of your creativity razor sharp. And remember, if you want even more useful advice on How to Write Short Stories and Get Them Published, don’t forget to order a copy of my book.

Writing Exercise – Limericks

As some of you may be aware, I’m currently compiling an anthology of poetry, Coming Together: In Verse.  The call for submissions is listed here: http://ashleylisterauthor.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/call-for-submissions-coming-together-in.html
For those of you wanting to submit, but lacking inspiration or ideas, below you’ll find one of the poetry writing exercises I’ve previously shared on the blog for the Erotic Readers and Writers Association (http://erotica-readers.blogspot.co.uk). I’m going to try and share them here on a weekly basis until we reach the deadline date.

A silly young woman called Alice
Used live dynamite for a phallus
It blew her vagina
To North Carolina
And her ass to a ranch up in Dallas
I’ve mentioned limericks before but I’m mentioning them again as a writing exercise for one very important reason: they’re fun.
Note the rhyme scheme: a-a-b-b-a.  This is consistent for the majority of limericks.
A very good friend of mine, Paul
Has got a hexagonal ball
The result of its weight
Plus his dick’s length times eight
Is his phone number: give him a call
Note the metre/syllable count.  In this one it’s 8/8/6/6/9.  Commonly, each limerick is 8/8/5/5/8 although they can go a couple of syllables either side depending on how they’re being performed. 
Please remember that the most important thing about the limerick is that the form lends itself to fun. 
One morning a nobleman, Andy
Woke up feeling properly randy.
He said to his aide,
“Please fetch in my maid,
Or the dog, or whatever is handy.”

If you do want to submit to the current anthology, information can be found on: http://ashleylisterauthor.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/call-for-submissions-coming-together-in.html

Writing Exercise – Standart Habbie

As some of you may be aware, I’m currently compiling an anthology of poetry, Coming Together: In Verse.  The call for submissions is listed here: http://ashleylisterauthor.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/call-for-submissions-coming-together-in.html
For those of you wanting to submit, but lacking inspiration or ideas, below you’ll find one of the poetry writing exercises I’ve previously shared on the blog for the Erotic Readers and Writers Association (http://erotica-readers.blogspot.co.uk). I’m going to try and share them here on a weekly basis until we reach the deadline date.

When it comes to raw sex appeal, it’s difficult to think of a country sexier than Scotland. Famous for muscular males, proficient in caber tossing and kilt-wearing; equally famed for feisty flame-haired females, Scotland has been the home of raunchy romance since the earliest days of print.  


Scotland is also blessed with a proud poetic heritage which gives us this month’s writing exercise. The Burns stanza is named after Scotland’s national poet Robert Burns.

The form did exist before Burns made it his own in the form of the Standart Habbie. It’s also known as the Scottish stanza or, sometimes, simply the six-line stave. Personally, I’m happy calling it a Burns stanza. This is my attempt at the form.
Wee, sleekit, cowran, tim’rous lassie, 
Blessed with a perfect, peach-shaped assie 
Your heels and stockings look so classy, 
Have a guess what’s on my mind
You know I’d love to mount your chassis 
And take you rudely from behind
.

Stanzas have six lines rhyming aaabab. 
If you do want to submit to the current anthology, information can be found on: http://ashleylisterauthor.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/call-for-submissions-coming-together-in.html

Writing Exercise – Shadorma

As some of you may be aware, I’m currently compiling an anthology of poetry, Coming Together: In Verse.  The call for submissions is listed here: http://ashleylisterauthor.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/call-for-submissions-coming-together-in.html
For those of you wanting to submit, but lacking inspiration or ideas, below you’ll find one of the poetry writing exercises I’ve previously shared on the blog for the Erotic Readers and Writers Association (http://erotica-readers.blogspot.co.uk). I’m going to try and share them here on a weekly basis until we reach the deadline date.
The shadorma is something of an enigma. Authorities are unsure about its ancestry. Is it an overlooked Spanish form that has been around for ages? Or is it a relatively new innovation that has been brought to us in the guise of something with a history?

These questions won’t be answered here. This is partly because I’m not clever enough to know how to respond but mainly, because I don’t care one way or the other. Whether it’s ancient or modern, the shadorma is a fun poetic form that’s worth the time and effort of any writer wanting to stretch literary muscles with a brief warmup exercise. To my mind, this is the only detail worth considering with regards to any poetic form.
I don’t want
your lace-topped stockings
black thong or
fuck-me shoes.
I just want you without your
designer labels.
The shadorma is a six lines stanza made up of lines that contain 3-5-3-3-7-5 syllables respectively. There is no fixed rhyme scheme. A shadorma can consist of a single stanza, or the form can be used to produce a longer poem with multiple stanzas.
Sad to say
despite best efforts
(replacing
batteries
shaking it ‘til it wobbles)
the rabbit is dead.
Take comfort
or consolation
from this fact:
that rabbit
died doing what he loved best.
His last words were, “buzz.”

The shadorma can be a lot of fun and, as with all poetic forms, it’s a great way to discipline your writing muscles. The majority of online material discussing this form reiterates the need for six unrhymed lines in the format of 3-5-3-3-7-5 syllables.

If you do want to submit to the current anthology, information can be found on: http://ashleylisterauthor.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/call-for-submissions-coming-together-in.html

Writing Exercise – the rispetto

As some of you may be aware, I’m currently compiling an anthology of poetry, Coming Together: In Verse.  The call for submissions is listed here: http://ashleylisterauthor.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/call-for-submissions-coming-together-in.html
For those of you wanting to submit, but lacking inspiration or ideas, below you’ll find one of the poetry writing exercises I’ve previously shared on the blog for the Erotic Readers and Writers Association (http://erotica-readers.blogspot.co.uk). I’m going to try and share them here on a weekly basis until we reach the deadline date.
This is what the Encyclopaedia Britannica has to say about the Rispetto:

rispetto, ( Italian:: “respect,” ) plural rispetti,  a Tuscan folk verse form, a version of strambotto. The rispetto lyric is generally composed of eight hendecasyllabic (11-syllable) lines. In its earliest form the rhyme scheme was usually abababcc. Later, the scheme ababccdd became more prominent, and other variations can also be found.
Here’s an interpretation of the second cited form of the rispetto that was written for me by an anonymous colleague.
Won’t you tie me to the bed before we start?
At least secure my wrists so I’m held rigid.
You may take my body like you took my heart
I’m motionless and cool but far from frigid.

I’ll surrender to your absolute control
Let me languish in my loved submissive role
Make each punishment seem painful and unjust
I’ll be bound and tied: a prisoner to your lust.
There are other versions of the rispetto. There are heroic interpretations when written in iambic pentameter. I’ve even seen versions written in tetrameter. The key things to remember for this form are:
      1)    Regardless of which meter or rhyme scheme you select, retain the strict meter.
      2)    Have fun.
If you do want to submit to the current anthology, information can be found on: http://ashleylisterauthor.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/call-for-submissions-coming-together-in.html

Writing Exercise – canzonetta

As some of you may be aware, I’m currently compiling an anthology of poetry, Coming Together: In Verse.  The call for submissions is listed here: http://ashleylisterauthor.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/call-for-submissions-coming-together-in.html
For those of you wanting to submit, but lacking inspiration or ideas, below you’ll find one of the poetry writing exercises I’ve previously shared on the blog for the Erotic Readers and Writers Association (http://erotica-readers.blogspot.co.uk). I’m going to try and share them here on a weekly basis until we reach the deadline date.
 The canzonetta is a lyric poem. It contains varying line lengths, varying metrical patterns and a refrain.
A typical canzonetta consists of at least two octaves. Each octave should use a series of alternating couplets and the last line or phrase of a stanza is repeated in each subsequent stanzas.
The rhyme scheme is:
a b a b c d c D 
or
a b a b c b c B

Note that the capital letter indicates a repeated line. Does this sound complicated? Would it be better illustrated with an example?
I think it’s time we played a game
A game you’ll know from way back when
Get naked and embrace the shame
Although you’re in the lion’s den
You’ll touch your toes, spread both your cheeks
Conclude your prayer and say, “Amen.”
In my domain no other speaks
So close your eyes and count to ten
You hold your breath and worry hard
Because it’s time to play again
You fear your backside might get scarred
As once perhaps it did back then
You wonder what’s about to come
A sigh of leather and you ken
The pain is aimed right for your bum
So close your eyes and count to ten

You’ll notice here that I’ve gone for the a b a b c b c B rhyme scheme. My refrain, ‘So close your eyes and count to ten’ will continue to work through this poem if I go on to develop it into further stanzas. 

If you do want to submit to the current anthology, information can be found on: http://ashleylisterauthor.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/call-for-submissions-coming-together-in.html

Writing Exercise – Tankas and Somonkas

As some of you may be aware, I’m currently compiling an anthology of poetry, Coming Together: In Verse.  The call for submissions is listed here: http://ashleylisterauthor.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/call-for-submissions-coming-together-in.html
For those of you wanting to submit, but lacking inspiration or ideas, below you’ll find one of the poetry writing exercises I’ve previously shared on the blog for the Erotic Readers and Writers Association (http://erotica-readers.blogspot.co.uk). I’m going to try and share them here on a weekly basis until we reach the deadline date.
 Since we started looking at poetry as a writing exercise we’ve considered various syllable forms. The most famous of these is the haiku, usually interpreted in Western writing as three lines containing 5-7-5 syllables.

As I’ve said before, I enjoy the discipline of syllable forms because it forces us to approach words from a different angle. We’re counting syllables as well as considering the perceived denotations and connotations of potential synonyms.

There are other variations on this syllable-counting theme. One of the more popular is the tanka.

The tanka is similar to the haiku except it’s longer in that it’s usually five lines and interpreted as 5-7-5-7-7 syllables. Given that it’s almost double the length of the haiku, the tanka can still be surprisingly restrictive.

However, this month’s form is not the 5-7-5-7-7 syllable tanka. This month we’re looking at the somonka.

The somonka is made up of two tanka-sized stanzas presented as an exchange of love letters.

Note to my master
I come to you on my knees
Ready and willing
My bare flesh is yours tonight
Do with me as you see fit

To my submissive
Thank you for your love letter
It was not needed
Your bare flesh is mine tonight
But only if I want it

Does that look simple enough? Two tank-sized stanzas (5-7-5-7-7 syllables) presented as an exchange of love letters. 

If you do want to submit to the current anthology, information can be found on: http://ashleylisterauthor.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/call-for-submissions-coming-together-in.html

Writing Exercise – little willies

As some of you may be aware, I’m currently compiling an anthology of poetry, Coming Together: In Verse.  The call for submissions is listed here: http://ashleylisterauthor.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/call-for-submissions-coming-together-in.html
For those of you wanting to submit, but lacking inspiration or ideas, below you’ll find one of the poetry writing exercises I’ve previously shared on the blog for the Erotic Readers and Writers Association (http://erotica-readers.blogspot.co.uk). I’m going to try and share them here on a weekly basis until we reach the deadline date.

 In the drinking-well
(Which the plumber built her)
Aunt Eliza fell,
We must buy a filter.
Col D Streamer,
Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes

The original Ruthless Rhymes (Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes or check out the ruthless rhymes web page) were written by Col D Streamer, pen name of Harry Graham. These were published in the early 1900s at a time when dark and sinister humour was prevalent in the pages of published works. Graham is also the name most commonly associated with the poetry phenomena of Little Willies. Little Willies are poems that catalogue the dark catastrophes and grim activities surrounding the eponymous Little Willie.

Little Willie from his mirror
Sucked the mercury all off,
Thinking, in his childish error,
It would cure his whooping-cough.

At the funeral, Willie’s mother
Smartly said to Mrs. Brown,
”T was a chilly day for William
When the mercury went down.”
Samuel Reynolds Hole
A Little Tour in America
Poetry pages soon became replete with Little Willies, produced by a broad variety of authors and written to varying degrees of success. These set a precedent that paved the way for the line drawings and memorable couplets of Edward Gorey with works such as his delightfully deviant Gashlycrumb Tinies.

A is for Amy who fell down the stairs
B is for Basil assaulted by bears…
Edward Gorey
Gashlycrumb Tinies
What does any of this have to do with writing erotica? Well, that’s your exercise for this month. Produce quatrains or couplets that are delightfully deviant. Write something that blunders into rhyme and tells a cold and brutal story in the shortest and most simplistic manner. Dare to be vulgar and write something about little willies.

They climbed the hilltop just to have sex
Did the nursery rhyme Jackie and Jilly
But she pushed him down and made him her ex
Disappointed by his little willy.

I won’t write any more here this month. I’ll simply end by asking you to share your little willies in the comments box below.
If you do want to submit to the current anthology, information can be found on: http://ashleylisterauthor.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/call-for-submissions-coming-together-in.html

Writing Exercise – the minute poem

As some of you may be aware, I’m currently compiling an anthology of poetry, Coming Together: In Verse.  The call for submissions is listed here: http://ashleylisterauthor.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/call-for-submissions-coming-together-in.html
For those of you wanting to submit, but lacking inspiration or ideas, below you’ll find one of the poetry writing exercises I’ve previously shared on the blog for the Erotic Readers and Writers Association (http://erotica-readers.blogspot.co.uk). I’m going to try and share them here on a weekly basis until we reach the deadline date.
 The Minute Poem is a form that follows an 8, 4, 4, 4 syllable count structure. It usually has 3 stanzas that are exactly the same: 8, 4, 4, 4;  8, 4, 4, 4;  8, 4 , 4, 4 syllables.
A traditional Minute Poem has 12 lines in total. It is written in a strict iambic meter. The rhyme scheme is as follows: aabb, ccdd, eeff.
In this traditional example I’ve included both the rhyme scheme (aabb, ccdd, eeff) and the syllable count (8,4,4,4 for each stanza).
You come to me in saucy mood
You’re feeling rude
You want my dick
You want it quick
At first we cuddle, then we kiss
It feels like bliss
Our passions soar
We both want more
It’s all over too fast for you
What can I do?
Speed’s in my plan:
the minute man
Alternatively, there’s also a non-traditional minute poem. This adaptation doesn’t have to rhyme but it should follow the established syllable count.
Our naked bodies give shared warmth
they entertain
arouse, inspire
and so much more
We’ve been together for so long
It feels just like
eternity
but I want more
As long as our shared pleasures please
I’ll always try
to be with you
and give you more
If you do want to submit to the current anthology, information can be found on: http://ashleylisterauthor.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/call-for-submissions-coming-together-in.html

Writing Exercise – the rhyme royal

As some of you may be aware, I’m currently compiling an anthology of poetry, Coming Together: In Verse.  The call for submissions is listed here: http://ashleylisterauthor.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/call-for-submissions-coming-together-in.html
James I of Scotland

For those of you wanting to submit, but lacking inspiration or ideas, below you’ll find one of the poetry writing exercises I’ve previously shared on the blog for the Erotic Readers and Writers Association (http://erotica-readers.blogspot.co.uk). I’m going to try and share them here on a weekly basis until we reach the deadline date.

The rhyme royal (sometimes called the rime royale by those who prefer to spell things incorrectly) is a fairly straightforward poetic form.

It refers to a stanza of seven lines, each line containing ten syllables, and the whole poem following a rhyming pattern of a b a b b c c. The form, according to the Poetry Foundation, was popularized by Geoffrey Chaucer and termed “royal” because his imitator, James I of Scotland, employed this structure in his own verse.

Here’s an example of one I wrote earlier.


We talk about our plans for this evening
Things we’d love to do when at our leisure
I long to give your sexual bells a ring:
Thrill you with a night you’ll always treasure.
In return you give a choice of pleasure
But I care not if you swallow or spit
I’m happy if you put your mouth round it.

Note that there are ten syllables per line. This isn’t iambic pentameter. This is merely ten syllables per line. Writing in iambs might make for something more profound but, as regular readers of these exercises will be aware, I am an exceptionally superficial poet.

One of the many fun things about this form is that the stanzas can be used to form verses in a longer poem. This is the way Chaucer used it in his work and we can see examples of this in Wyatt, Auden and many others.

I pluck your pubes from twixt my teeth and smile
The taste of you still lingers on my lips
Your scent’s a mem’ry that’s made to beguile
I yearn to squirm beneath your fingertips
And play with toys like canes and crops and whips
And savour pleasures borne beyond belief
Then pluck more pubes from in between my teeth
If you do want to submit to the current anthology, information can be found on: http://ashleylisterauthor.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/call-for-submissions-coming-together-in.html